Sex with a stranger

She walked hurriedly past the traffic signal, looking fwd to her adventure... "I hope this dsnt turn out to be a mistake", she thought to herself. But her body was heating up with excitement. Her stomach flipped inside every time she thought about it and her heart was pounding so hard, it felt like it would burst out of her chest. She reached the mall finally and headed for the bathrooms.

It was to be her first time with a stranger. "Mahi..!" Someone called out to her. She froze. "Oh shit!" She looked in the direction of the voice. It was the B wing aunty. "I don't even know her name" she rolled her eyes in her mind. She said a polite hello and looked for ways to make a quick exit. After all, he was waiting for her in there. She could barely contain her breath with the thunderstorms going on inside her entire body. She managed to say bye and rushed to the bathroom.

She entered the stall and there he was.. Waiting to serve her. She watched the glistening head as unzipped quickly and placed herself in position. He entered her thirstily like a thunderbolt. Felt like he was as desperate for her as she was. The pleasure-shock bolted her upright. She closed her eyes as the thrusts continued, letting the images of her partners flash in front of her eyes... Some real, some imaginary. Her first guy, her last love, her new office crush, Will Smith... Suddenly, her husband's face flashed. "Where did that come from.." It troubled her. She didn't wanna be reminded of the duty she had to pay every once in a while for staying married and keeping her family together. She discarded the image instantly and without letting it spoil her mood, she continued...

The hottie next door, the guy at the store, the sex images continued and her body kept getting tighter, readying itself for the final high... She controlled the continued thrust and pointed it at her various spots as she preferred. This was much stronger and harder than the one back home. It made her feel things she never felt before. The final shot and her body teared her into pieces. She felt the warm air around her heated up by her own body. She slowly pulled the jet spray out from between her legs and let it fall off from her hands. She looked at the limp pipe with her half closed eyes.

"Hushhh...!" She allowed herself to relax a bit, then gathered herself together and left the place. She splashed some water on her reddened face to cool herself down. "That was hot!", she thought to herself. "Who says Indian women aren't satisfied sexually...", she chuckled, "Trust me they know how to keep themselves happy!". She came out of the mall. "If only there was a warm tongue over my longing breast...", she couldn't help thinking, "well, we take what we can get." Her body was still shaking a little. She took a rickshaw back home, well in time to cook dinner for the family.

Rose: The pieces

Drowned

It felt so peaceful on the beach. No one in the water, but me. The warm waters against my waist... pulling me, pushing me, smashing against me. The sand tickles my feet, so I start walking again, going deeper in the sea.

Suddenly my feet feel a large step on the sea bed and before I realize, I have gone down it already. Panic begins to set in, I find myself in neck deep waters... It was time to get back, but I see a large wave ready to crash. It engulfs me from all sides and I fall in the water. I can taste the yucky saltiness deep inside my throat suffocating me. I sometimes see the splashes of water and sometimes the sharp rays of sun pierce my eyes. I'm dying, I can feel it.

I'm drenched all over.

I wake up with a sudden jerk, my heart racing as fast as it's humanly possible with a humongous pressure on it. 

I'm drenched all over.

... in my own sweat. My table clock shows 3am.

God Disposes

“He loves her…”, she heard her hoarse voice.

“He loves her… He loves her…”, she saw herself sobbing profusely in the mirror.

That was the last vision she had before it turned completely dark.

Her body was shaking violently. Suicide by hanging turned out to be much more excruciating than she had imagined.

And yet, “He loves her…”, was her final thought. There was no turning back.

The rope snapped.

Making Love

Today the skies are so clear... like a canvas waiting to be painted on! There’s a place on the lower side of the canvas that feels empty though. Ah! I know just what I need there. A couple... so much in love, watching the clear blue skies! That’s you and me baby... It has never been so easy to decide what is more beautiful... The girl with the long hair or the clear blue skies... Behold... the sky is turning pink now, as the evening arrives. Is it blushing watching us? Or is it angry because it is not getting any attention? You slide off my arms and I watch you as you walk to the gardens and caress the roses. A butterfly rests on your bare shoulder; and the wind plays with your flowery dress. We finally go inside and you join your friends on the dance floor. And I just watch you. You secretly seduce me with a quick wink and then blush at your own naughtiness. Are you naughty or are you simple? I can’t understand! Your body grooves gracefully to the music, it sends my heart aflutter.

You come back to me, ask me when we want to leave, your diamond-eyes search for the answer in mine. I just stare at them stupefied. “Oh what I would do to drown and die in those oceans!” You take a while to read my thoughts and your cheeks turn pink. You try to shrug it off by rolling your eyes, but bite your lip instead and lower those eyes till they meet the ground. As you turn to leave, I hold your hand and pull you close.
A quick peck on your delicious cheeks.
“When do you want to leave?” A peck on your nose now.
“I am ok to leave now or later...” One near ur lips.
”Anything is okay with me” Another on your chin.
“You decide.” One on your neck.
“You wanna hang out with your friends more.. Do that!” A big one on your forehead.
I relieve you from my arms finally.. Last one on your eyes. You look at me, give me a smiling peck on my lips and say “I say we leave right away!” n rush back to your friends to say good bye. I really don’t know how you know me so well, am I so predictable to you? Like an open book waiting for you to read me?

You drive the car back home and I can’t help but stare at your exquisite profile. “Stop staring at me...” you say. “I can’t help it love. Can u stop looking so beautiful?” I reply and think to myself “I might not let you sleep tonight baby...!” Can you read my mind or did I say that out loud? Cos Im startled by your sudden laughter. You musical laughter... it reminds me of the song on the piano that you play every now n then. Your enigmatic laughter! It creates a shield which blurs my vision and confuses my mind!

We reach home and I lift your slender frame and place you on our bed. There is no time to waste. The flowers on your dress are now lying on the floor. I look at your golden body, dazzling in the dim light. My view is suddenly interrupted as you quickly slide under the creamy-white sheets without warning. What am I to do now? Instead of trying to get you out of the sheets, I simply join you inside. Now we are both inside, all covered up in the sheets, having our own private universe! Your scent fills the air and mesmerizes me. I finally get the sheet off and there you are again... waiting, wanting! Your scent fills the air and mesmerizes me. I touch you with my hand starting from your delicate neck going down all the way till your toe. It’s as if the curves of your body modify the lines on my palm and shape my future. I bite the toe a little too harsh and you whimper a little. I trace the path back with my lips this time stopping at my favorite beauty spot.

A strand of hair plays with your navel. I lift it and give it a soft kiss before flipping it back to the others. I hold your face in my hands again and you chin-up, stretch your neck and close your eyes, waiting for me to kiss you. I give myself a while to soak in that expression. You open your eyes again and look at me quizzically. Your eyes... full of love, longing and anticipation. You don’t utter a word, but your eyes complain. You pull my ear and your eyes scold me “Kiss me... Now!”, they order. I smile and you unexpectedly push me back on the bed. You are in charge now as your soft hair fall on me and envelope my face. They obstruct my view of everything else. I can see just your face and those eyes gazing at me with a spark of confidence, a sorted control and complete ownership. Taking your own time, you give me another one of your "dream kisses" and I just take it, as a helpless prisoner of your beauty. I taste roses off your petal-lips, as they melt inside mine quenching my every thirst. I lose track of time as you kiss me forever. Finally, you slide on my neck, down to my chest and hug me tight; we roll again. I taste your body; sweet as honey; it dissolves into mine. You shiver at my every touch even after all these times. Nothing else exists in this world baby. Just you, me and your faint moans as we touch each other deep deep inside! You close your eyes now, as you take the loving pain and we make love once again!

I fall on you and you hug me back eagerly. Everything is still now. Hand in hand, fingers interwoven, we just feel each other.... “Dont wanna light your ritual smoke?” you say with your intricate flirtatious voice. I’ll have to get up from the bed for that... I don’t want to lose your touch even for a moment... I immediately abandon the thought. I’d rather spend my time looking at your beautiful face and hold you in my arms. I want you to go to sleep now love. It’s good that I’m right next to you when you sleep. I’ll ensure that nothing affects your sleep tonight. Not yourself, not your dreams, no nothing; save me! Sleep really well my love, as I cradle you in my arms and ensure that nothing bothers you. I love you so much baby, I would do anything to make sure no tears ever form in those eyes. I place a soft kiss on your forehead just as you fall asleep. Good night baby..!

You’ve fallen asleep in my arms, the silky mounds of your breasts touching my bare chest. Your soft curls tickle my chin. I love tucking your hair back in place, but right now I let them be. Your delicate hand rests near my heart. Trusting me. Loving me. Drawing comfort. I watch your angelic face as you sleep with me without a care in the world. Dream of me baby! I touch your lips ever-so-slightly. You quiver just a tiny bit and come even closer to me. You are so close to me, even my eye lashes can feel you. I blow a heavy breath and you get goose-bumps. I re-run the events in my head and I am all smiles. “I hope you enjoyed as much as I did baby!”

I close my eyes to soak you in. I open my eyes again and its morning already! A ray of sunshine illuminates a part of your cheek and those orangey puckered lips. I love watching you sleeping, all cuddled up in bed. I get up from the bed gently, careful not to wake you up. I go to the kitchen to fix some breakfast. The aroma of coffee must have woken you up. There you are; wearing nothing but my tee, trying to hide your crimson blush; “I can’t find my clothes?” you say demurely and my heart melts again. I rush to you and hug you hard. Your feet leave the ground with my face still buried in your hair... You laugh once again. Why are laughing? What are you thinking right now? I would do anything to know that. I join your laugh and say a silent prayer, hope we always be together like this... Forever!

- Piyu.
(Co-author and Edit: Sid)

राहून गेले

Vision

Vision

“1..2..3..4....TWO..2..3..4!” I was teaching her a dance-step for their annual function. She was holding my face with her two little hands and learning the neck movement at beat no. TWO. Then she went on to hold my hands and then my knees to understand the step as I counted the 8 beats repeatedly. Learning dance for a visually impaired person is not an easy task as one can imagine. A single step of 8 beats takes at least 10 rounds of repeating as the students touch and understand the movement of various parts of body. And these little girls were doing it.

Me n Sanju were teaching this group together. “You take the step 1 which we’ll repeat twice.. So 16 beats are taken care of. I’ll take the next one which will go for the next 16 beats.”, said Sanju. “Make sure to come up with something easy to understand and memorize for them.” We had distributed dance-steps between us so that each one of us could master the best way of teaching it to our students. We were learning to teach. So every kid had to learn from both of us.

But Devika refused. Every time Sanju would approach her, she would flatly refuse. She would shake her hands in a peculiar way which told us that. She was one of the girls who could hear a little bit and make some sounds, but could not really talk. All these girls had a diminishing eye-sight. What it meant was that the best they could ever see was today and their sight would become weaker and weaker as time passed. They all knew their time frames. Some were going to be totally blind by next 6 months, some, a year. And all these girls were doing was dancing, laughing and having fun. “I’ll take her Sanju. She refuses to learn from anyone else.” I said and I started teaching her.

Devika wanted to learn only from me. Within the 4 rehearsals, she had grown extremely fond of me. She used to identify me by my voice and the peculiar texture of my stole. I wore the same stole for every rehearsal. The more she became adamant to learn only from me, the more I taught her and the more she grew closer to me. At the end of rehearsals one day, as I bid goodbye to Devika, she unexpectedly hugged me... For a long time... Me n Sanju just kept looking at each other. That day, I realised I was treading on delicate ground. I was not going to be there for more than a few days. These girls only had their teachers and each other for support. Their families would or would not come to visit them at the school. If she got too attached to me, how will she cope when I left?

That very moment I stopped teaching her. I did not want to raise her expectations. I did not want her to love me more. I wanted to tell her I won’t be there forever, and the best way to do that was to stop teaching her. As she realized what was happening, she refused to dance at first. She opened her hands trying reaching out to me, made her usual sound. And waited... and waited... and waited...

I refused to budge with great difficulty. I wanted to run to her and hug her tight and magically make her be able to see, hear, talk and do everything any young girl deserves doing. But instead, I did not make a sound, I did not go close to her, I just watched her from a distance. Sanju looked at me quizzically. I just shook my head and she understood. Devika waited for a long time for me to return, before slowly resuming dancing again with a dejected look on her face. Thankfully she didn’t cry, she was definitely much stronger than me.

It was cruel kindness, or at least I thought it was. I just did what my 19-yr old “matured” heart told me to. I still don’t know whether it was a correct thing to do. I dropped that project. I stopped going to the rehearsals, cos I didn’t want her to recognize my voice while I talked to other girls.

This experience helped me understand life. I was the girl who would be irritated if I missed my bus, hurt if my friend forgot to say bye, tensed at the thought of not getting a job. Devika turned me into a young woman who would patiently wait for the next bus without fretting, who would call a friend when she missed them, and live her life in her present. A visually impaired girl opened my eyes.

-          Piyu.

The Girl at the Bar

Girl at the bar

Reeva had had enough. “Why can’t I have fun by myself?”, she thought to herself. She wasn’t getting any younger. Most of her friends were either married or engaged, a few even had kids. She however was waiting for her Mr. Right. She didn’t date, she hadn’t even had her first kiss yet. The forced slimy encounter with her uncle didn’t count. She was saving herself for “him”. Every time she called her friends to hangout, they’ve been busy. It was either work or meetings or a family holiday or “Sorry girl, but I’ve already made plans for the weekend. I promise I’ll make it up to you babes!”. She was tired of attending those birthday parties of her friends’ kids and calling it quality time.

“If you want to be happy, just be!”, one of her friends had posted on FB some time back. It just stuck with her. She remembered the incident last month, as she was passing through the Kings Cross station. The guy at the entrance of the strip club had called out to her “Hey! Independent lady! Come on inside, have some fun!!!” She was startled but gathered her composure quickly, as she had learned to, living alone all these years... “Some other time mate!!” she said and hurried away. What are these guys called anyway? There has to be some designation right.

She didn’t even have to think about it before refusing him. But today, she wondered why? “Why can’t I have fun by myself?” she thought long n hard. It was quickly followed by “What would be fun to do?” She started googling. Holidays? Nope, I may end up feeling lonelier. Cruises? Naah, too expensive! “Learn to walk before you run!!” a voice screamed in her head. “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone!” blasted another one. “Why does everything have to be so difficult? Arghhhh!”

•  

Little black dress... Check! Make up... Check! Red pumps... Check! Reeva looked in the mirror. “Am I over-dressed? I hope this is not too slutty!” she thought. She was walking faster than usual. “Why? Why am I running?”.... “Tonight is not about whys” she told herself firmly. Half-walking, half-jumping, she hurried to Kings Cross. Will the doorman (thanks google!) recognise her? She wondered. She was humming a song in her head and her feet were following the beat. Aaaaaand.... BAM! She was on the floor. A couple of people looked back at her, but she was back on her feet in no time. She looked at her knees. She wasn’t hurt surely but her right stocking had ripped. A decent-sized non-ignorable tear right at the knee! Angry with herself for her clumsiness, she wondered “How the hell did I fall?” “N I haven’t even started drinking yet, wtf??” She didn’t want to go back home. Today was about breaking boundaries, today was about coming out of her comfort zone, about doing something different. Without company. She continued her walk to the bar. If this went well, she would consider visiting the strip club next. She winked and laughed to herself.

She chose the corner-most table in the dark to avoid unnecessary attention. “Im here... Yeah baby!” The bar was almost full. Couples, ladies, but mostly just groups of guys. “No.. Im not intimidated. I refuse to be intimidated.” She put her foot down as she sipped on her large scotch. Scotch... It was burning her throat. Hell, it was burning her entire body inside out. “How do people drink this? I should ask for some soda...” Cut to... “Yeah baby!” Some guy was performing some act on the little stage. The crowd was laughing out loud. She wasn’t even listening to him. The scotch was having her way with her.

 “I had this gf who would continuously try to feed me different foods. She believed the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach...” He was saying. Reeva thought to herself “Ahhh! Women jokes. How boring...” Suddenly everyone was quiet. You could hear a pin drop. Reeva looked around. Everyone was staring at her, even the artist on the stage. “OMG, did I say that out loud?” She froze; almost got up to leave. But changed her mind. Out of nowhere, she just declared “I think the fastest way to a man’s heart is with a knife... through his chest!!” The audience erupted in laughter at this sudden witty remark.

The guy flushed. But it was HIS show. He let the audience calm down, and said “Knife... You know the difference between a knife and a woman’s argument?” He looked at the audience and asked them, waiting for their answer. Then declared “The knife... has a point!” The bar roared again. “With women it’s like ‘You can either agree with me or you can be wrong’” He said, imitating the voice of a nagging woman.
He continued. “I can tell you the worlds shortest joke guys. It goes like this... 2 women were sitting quietly...” He waited for people to realize that That was the joke. Without missing a beat, Reeva shouted “False! Your penis.” And the bar erupted in a massive applause.

He tried to contain the situation. “These women... They fool you, you know people... No, no, no.. Don’t let them fool you. With all the make-up, the fake hair, fake breasts, fake everything...” Again, before he could finish, she said “Come on.... We don’t fool men... Most of ‘em are the do-it-yourself types...!” Reeva laughed hard at her own joke with the people... She was on a roll. She was stealing his show. “You mess with me, I mess with you.. That’s the kind of lady I am” she declared. Loads of hoots n whistles followed.

He tried to compose himself. “Heh.. Can you see this people.. We are almost duelling here”.
“We’re duelling? Where’s your wand then?” she said. OMG, did I just say Thaaat?
“You want to see my wand????” he said chuckling. “Let me show you my wand...” No, no, no... This was going somewhere else. Her face was blushing volcanoes.
“Sure, should I get a magnifying glass”. Who the hell is putting these words in my mouth??? The audience was rolling on the floor laughing.
“Come with me babe.. I’ll show you what my wand can do..”
“Ok people, I’ll be back in 10 mins. Ahh... would 10 mins be too much for you... babe??” She looked at him as she asked him. Yeah, baby! She ruled him. She owned him. The people were going crazy. She owned them all. The guy started laughing in defeat too.

He got down from the stage and started walking towards her. ”Oh no!” Reeva froze. Before he could say anything, Reeva stood up to leave. She didn’t want any trouble. “Should I apologize?” a thought crossed her mind. She could hear her heart beat hard in her brain. She looked at him. He didn’t look offended. He was in fact smiling at her. “Care to join me for a drink?” he said. Reeva’s heart was racing. She got up as fast as she could and started walking towards the exit. She walked a few steps, but stopped.

“Why am I running?” She owned him not long ago. SHE was in control. It was HER night. Something had changed. The panic vanished. She suddenly felt calm, tranquil. Like time had stopped. Everything was still. The people, the bar, the guy and her mind. She turned back to him, looked at him straight in the eye, walked up straight to him and kissed him on his lips. It wasn’t a deep long one, but it wasn’t a quick peck either. Like she knew what she was doing. Or at least she thought she did. He stared at her in shock. He ran his hand through his hair nervously and managed to say “Erm... Hi, Im Mark”. She looked at him and without blinking an eye, she replied “Mark? Good bye... Mark”. She turned and left the bar without looking back. Fast. Her long hairs were hitting her shoulders and her back as if patting her for her “achievement”.

She got out of the bar and the crisp chilly Sydney air hit her body hard. Like it was hugging her. Welcoming her. Accepting her. And she was accepting it too. The harsh cold wind was painful, but it was also tranquil. Something had definitely changed. A ripped stocking, a wasted first kiss and liberated... Like a long-time prisoner just out of jail... “Happy Independence day Reeva” she said to herself. And Reeva replied “Yeah baby!!!”

-          Piyu.

Sailing In The Same Boat

It was middle of the night, the train was asleep. All but the two! He played her laughter in his head again; it was like delicate bangles clinking. It belonged to a beautiful woman; a beautiful person. He was smitten, without even seeing her. She was to study at the university, he heard her say; just like him. Sitting back to back in adjoining compartments...
Two hearts; beating in the same rhythm!
Two minds; dreaming the same dream!
Two souls; separated by but a thin partition of the train compartment!
He switched off the lights, she did too. He looked forward to seeing that beautiful laughter soon.

Too Scared To Love Again

Walking by the sea, he watched her smile as the wind blew her hair. He brushed his hand against hers, then held it slightly and she looked at him startled. The gentle blush on her cheeks showed a pleasantly surprised approval; but those misty eyes... They told a different story; one which had longing, but had refusal too.
“Loving you is as natural as breathing to me... As involuntary! But I didn’t shed all those tears for nothing. I can’t do it again. I’m sorry, my love!”

He was taken aback. His worst fears had just come true.
But was it the end?

Maddening Rains

Moonlit Nights

Alive

I observed him carefully as he walked to the door. I knew that time was running out but suppressed the urge to check my watch. I took a deep breath and started counting in reverse under my breath. "Ten, nine, eight, seven..." I was getting more nervous with every second. I needed to calm down. Before I could finish my counts, he roared on me, “U lie down on the bed and don't move. I'm gonna kill you...” He had closed the door and climbed the bed. I lay there motionless with my eyes closed. He pounced on me with a huge thundering laugh. He landed on me and pushed me down further inside the bed, my eyes shut tight. I finally opened them and tackled him. He was on the bed now and I was on top of him. I looked at him. We made eye contact...

...And we started laughing. A long whole hearted laugh! This was my son's favourite game. As tiring as it was for my frail body... Standing up every time, falling on the bed, having him kill me with his imaginary sword, then waking up and shouting and tackling him down to the floor... I didn't mind playing it a few times every day. I had mastered the art of tackling him, it was literally like they show in the movies, where the hero swept the villain “off his feat” and floored him. My Siddharth loved it. We both had a twinkle in our eyes. His was due of the excessive laughing. Mine? Not so much. But this game made me forget it all, at least for a while... The bills to be paid, his threatening phone calls for joint custody, the excruciating job search and the constant worry ridden look in my mom's eyes. This job was going to resolve it all. I was confident I would get it. After all, I had agreed to pay a hefty sum to support the start-up’s initial investment. It has taken a lot of trouble to collect it, lot of taunts from lot of relatives. But I had managed it and that’s all that mattered at the moment. Once I started receiving a steady salary, I would finally be able to come out of this black-hole.

“One more time mumma... This is last last laaaast time. Promise!” I took a quick glance at my watch and he frowned. I would miss the train if I waited another minute. But I couldn’t refuse him. “Laaaaast last time... ok?”. He nodded excitedly and proceeded to kill me yet again!

----

I clutched my purse more tightly than ever, as I took the road to the railway station. It had five lakh rupees in cash, to be deposited in their bank account. Who knew FIVE LAKHS would be so small in size and weight. I hope he isn’t a fraud, a wave of doubt passed through my brain. Oh c’mon, they were all engineers fresh out of college, trying to setup their own business, with him as their leader. And he had given me an opportunity to be a part of it! He had promised me equity in the firm. Who would do that?! And the fantastic presentation he had shown me on his shiny phone. But then, why did he specifically ask for cash? He said it was because he had to make some payments immediately. That made sense. Their business idea sounded so promising. “He” sounded so charismatic and committed to his work. And every time he looked straight into my eyes... “Join me Sheetal!” He had said with a cute wink the last time we met, extending his hand for a handshake, but holding my hand ever so lightly, just short of kissing it. I was sure that my money and my career were safe in his hands. Well.... almost sure.

My fearful heavy heart slowed my pace down. I rubbished my thoughts and started walking faster than usual. I had to make up for the time I spent in playing with Siddharth, else I would have missed my train. I reached the gully now. There was this stretch of road which cut my walk from 10mins to 2. Just that it was very lonely. They said it was frequented by drug addicts by night. I was used to taking this one daily. “Should have I taken the longer road today? I was carrying loads of money. Im such a fool”, I thought to myself. But I carried on anyway. I couldn’t afford to lose another minute. As I was hurrying on the lonely lane, I heard equally fast footsteps following me. I started walking faster; it seemed that person did too. I almost ran and joined the hustle bustle of the main road. I dared to turn around now, only to realize it was just another man hurrying his way to catch his train. He didn’t even notice me. I breathed a sigh of relief, half-laughing at myself.

----

He looked as charming as ever. How did he manage to look so impeccable all the time? Nobody was present in the office that day. He had asked all of them to go away, because we were to discuss something important. His words sent a shiver down my spine. Just being there alone with him had my blood rising into my cheeks. I could feel it. I still didn’t understand why he changed the venue of our meet at the last minute. We were to meet at the bank to deposit the money there. What was it he wanted to discuss which could not have been done there? He offered me a seat oh so elegantly. So this is how it felt like, being with a chivalrous man. I sat down erect and automatically crossed my legs. I could sense a certain grace in my posture too. Of course he was professional all the time; not once had he suggested anything other than work. But his choice of words always had me take another meaning. It was so long since I had been with anyone. I licked my lips nervously, hoping he didn’t notice how much he affected me. “C’mon Sheetal, concentrate! You have a bag full of cash in your hand!” I told myself. I remembered my walk on the lonely lane, it felt so safe here with him. I met this guy just 2 weeks back, but I felt like I knew him inside out. He had awoken the real Sheetal in me. Like I was sleep-walking through life and he woke me up. Nothing could go wrong as long as he was around! "Ten, nine, eight, seven..." I restarted my counting hoping to hold myself together.

“Sheetal...”, he started talking, fidgeting with a file. “Have you got all the money that I asked?” I nodded. “I wanted to tell you something before you make this investment.” I listened earnestly. He suddenly threw the file at my face. I looked back at him in shock. “You dirty piece of shit... you aren’t worth a dime! You are just a desperate little cougar, waiting to get in my pants. You know what, I won’t give you a second look even if you were standing there naked with a million dollars in your hand.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I stared at him with my mouth open. “I am not going to give you any equity. You know why?? Cos I don’t have any! Cos this company does not exist! There is no company, there is no business. I can’t believe how easy it was to fool you. How easy it was to convince you of everything. I didn’t even have to try. You are such a gullible brainless little slut!” He laughed out loud. I felt horror spread over my face. “Now, you will leave this money here like a good girl and leave. Don’t bother going to the police, I would be long gone before they can help you.” He snapped. I was too shocked to say anything at all. Was this really happening? Was this a nightmare? Mom had tried to warn me against him. Why didn’t I listen to her? Oh God!!!!!

He tried to snatch the purse from me. I didn’t let go. I stood up and ran to the door. But he held me. My frail frame was nothing compared to his tall, well built, muscular body. There was no way I could have fought him. He held me against the wall and threw a hard slap across my face. I somehow managed to hold the purse behind me. He started hitting me left right and centre. But I did not let go of my purse... I turned towards the wall and clutched it tight against my chest. That purse contained my life. He was blowing punch after punch after punch.. Some on my head, my face, my ribs, back... I fell down and he started kicking me. The kicks landed at every possible place... My stomach, my legs, my groin. The thrashing continued for ages and I closed my eyes tight. I could feel every part of my body crying out in pain. I felt blood draining from my body. It felt dizzy, like I was losing consciousness. I just waited there now; to die. Is this how my life was going to end; at the hands of a cruel monster? What did I achieve in my life? I was such a loser. I’m dying and I havn’t even got my true love yet, cudn’t build anything for my son, cudn’t make my mother proud. The thought was unbearable. It was more painful than the blows being showered on me.

And suddenly, something inside me... just broke. It was me... It was my being... It was me that broke. I couldn’t hear anything. I could just see a sharp white light. Was it the ceiling? Does it feel like this when people die? I was in a trance. Death didn’t scare me somehow. I could feel my breath; hear my own blood gushing through my veins like a tsunami. “Mumma!”, I heard someone call out to me. I could see my Siddu in front of my eyes now. But instead of worrying for him, I felt a certain peace inside me; a certain “certainty”. I “knew” that everything was going to be ok. I saw my Siddu hugging me with his little hands all around my neck like a precious necklace. I gave him a quick peck on his precious little red lips as he looked at me with his naughty eyes wide open. I saw him asking me to play with him again. I saw myself falling down for him. I saw him roaring over me and hitting me. I could feel his breath over me, as he killed me by his sword. And then, I tackled him, as usual.

I was suddenly standing now. It was so confusing. I didn’t remember standing up. But there I was. My baby had vanished. I opened my eyes as wide as I could. I could see everything clearly. I could see the furniture in the office, the lights, the table, chairs. The papers were all scattered and this filthy creature of a man was lying down there. It seemed that I had done the exact same tackling move that I did with Siddu. Only, it was on this guy this time. And as he fell down, his head must have hit the edge of the table. I could see little trail of blood trickling down from his head. He was crying in pain. I was filled with angst and abhorrence. I wanted to kick him hard; just like he was kicking me not long ago. I charged towards him, but stopped... He groaned again and tried to stand up. The game wasn’t over yet. I had to leave from there asap. I hurried out of the office. I ran to the lift and stopped. I turned back and locked the door of the office from outside. I took the stairs and ran down. My frail body didn’t feel frail anymore. I was moving at the speed of light. I raced outside and didn’t stop till I reached the open ground. Some people stopped to look at me and hurried away, some gave me dirty glances. I must have been looking like hell. But, wait... Another wave of fear passed over me.

Where...

Was...

My...

Purse...?

I looked around bewildered. I found that my left hand was holding it by its belt. I never did let go of the purse... I never did let go of my life. I wanted to live. I wasn’t ready to die. My life wasn’t over. I had miles to go... I held my purse against my chest yet again and tears started flooding my cheeks. I wanted to scream out loud to the world. I won’t let go... I won’t die... I will live. This is MY life and I claim it back!

I was breathless. I was just standing there, crying up at the sky. The sun was setting, creating myriads of colours up there. I could see them even more clearly because of my tears. My tears were washing my vision. Towards the world, towards my life, towards myself. I felt so alive, not just living... Alive! There was so much life in that moment. The crisp air was cooling me down, it was brushing against my cheeks softly. It reminded me of my mom caressing my cheeks when I was a little kid. It reminded me of all the dreams she had for me. I cannot let her down; I will not let her down. For her, for myself and for my baby; I will live and I will thrive. Life is a miracle in itself. The future holds infinite possibilities. 
What seems impossible today, might happen tomorrow. 
It’s never the end. 
Never... 
As long as I am... 
Alive!